Jake Guy – The Awakening Series (Intro)


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-Jake Guy

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2 thoughts on “Jake Guy – The Awakening Series (Intro)

  1. I love the actual book references here.
    1. because I’ve read some of the books and 2. because it gives the reader a sense of the direction of the content.

    Starting off, the context you give with your beginnings is great. However, I would take your opening remarks and reiterate them at the end of the piece. You have a beginning and an end, but I think there is some value to coming full circle (In light of the cyclical nature of the universe) to fully start and finish the thought while revisiting the thesis

    The use of bolded keywords adds a great effect, maybe consider 2-4 added bolded words through the piece.

    You are showing me your story, and your perceived value of your product, yet you don’t convince ME, the consumer, of my perceived value of your product.

    You reference this as a journey, as a reader I then become syndical when you say you have “arrived”

    “synchronistic events” not sure the average reader may know what you are referencing.

    As a reader, you almost leave me to content with just reading this first piece. Perhaps try to add some connecting pieces between this piece and the next.

    Good read I must say!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad to hear you liked the book references Joss. Which books have you read? Any you could recommend?

    I totally agree with the full circle idea, appreciate that feedback. Also, I added some more bolded key words like you suggested to this one. Thanks for that.

    There is no real product.. I am just sharing my story in this introduction to help the reader understand who I am and where I am coming from. But yea it is a little self-centered when it could be more trying to speak to the reader. Thanks

    Good idea about adding more into the next lesson ahead. I will take note of that for my next course coming soon: Dream Building 101 😉

    Cheers

    Like

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